MY INCREDIBLE COLLECTION OF QUOTES SAYINGS AND FUNNY STUFF!!! ^_^



‘Paranoia will keep you alive. All courage gets you is dead.’

'Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they're just afraid of a thousand guys with M-16's going 'Who'd you call a faggot?''- Jon Stewart

'Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.' --Jocelyn, 'A Knight's Tale'

'Yes, but why is the rum gone?' -- Captain Jack Sparrow, 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

'Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.' -- Westley, 'The Princess Bride'

(Fred) Mum's gonna have kittens!"
(George) "Big, carnivorous kittens," Another author I forget who

"The midnight pixies are coming with there rabid muffins!" – Another author I forget who

"We have lives we just don’t have dignity."- Another author I forget who

"But where’s all the rum gone?"-Capt. Jack sparrow

"Come to the dark side... We have Cookies!"- Another author I forget who

"Reality bites with many sizes of teeth"- Another author I forget who

“I have a.d.d and a bunch of magic markers...oh the fun I will have” Another author I forget who

"Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it..."

I'm talking about death—and you've never experienced that. And you cannot act it. You die a thousand casual deaths—with none of that intensity which squeezes out life. . .and no blood runs cold anywhere. Because even as you die you know that you will come back in a different hat.
But no one gets up after death—there is no applause—there is only silence and some second-hand clothes, and that's—death.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I farted. - Some tee shirt dude

Life gets better as you get older... unless you're a banana. -Cecile Jackson

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance? -Edgar Bergen

A word to the wise isn’t necessary; it's the stupid ones that need advice -Bill Cosby

He who laughs last didn't get it. -Helen Giangregorio

Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. -David Letterman

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. -Rodney Dangerfield

Suicide hotline...please hold. -some guy with an attitude

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving definitely isn't for you. -some guy with common sense

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.-Dean Martin

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. -Woody Allen

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. -Jack Handey

I'm out of my mind, please leave a message. -Tee-shirt

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
  But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

  I thought that I could love no other
  Until, that is, I met your brother.


  I want to feel your sweet embrace
  But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
  

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

  
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.


            DORMITORY
            When you rearrange the letters:
            DIRTY ROOM

            PRESBYTERIAN
            When you rearrange the letters:
            BEST IN PRAYER


            ASTRONOMER
            When you rearrange the letters:
            MOON STARER

            DESPERATION
            When you rearrange the letters:
           A ROPE ENDS IT


            THE EYES
            When you rearrange the letters:
            THEY SEE


           GEORGE BUSH
            When you rearrange the letters:
            HE BUGS GORE

            THE MORSE CODE
            When you rearrange the letters:
            HERE COME DOTS

            SLOT MACHINES
            When you rearrange the letters:
            CASH LOST IN ME

            ANIMOSITY
            When you rearrange the letters:
            IS NO AMITY

            ELECTION RESULTS
            When you rearrange the letters:
            LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

            MOTHER-IN-LAW
            When you rearrange the letters:
            WOMAN HITLER

            SNOOZE ALARMS
            When you rearrange the letters:
            ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

            A DECIMAL POINT
            When you rearrange the letters:
            IM A DOT IN PLACE

            THE EARTHQUAKES
            When you rearrange the letters:
            THAT QUEER SHAKE



            ELEVEN PLUS TWO
            When you rearrange the letters:
            TWELVE PLUS ONE

            AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


            PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
            When you rearrange the letters
          (With no letters left over and using each letter only once)   
            TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS


            Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
            too much time on their hands!

Jesus loves you; everyone else thinks you’re a wanker. (T shirt slogan)

The little Girl and the Cop
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little
girl named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a
safety violation.

The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back
of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there
sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the
d!ck goes underneath the horse, not on top".
          
           CHINESE PROVERBS
            Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

            Man who run in front of car get tired.
           
            Man who run behind car get exhausted.
           
            Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
            
            Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
           
            Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
          
            Man with one chopstick go hungry.
           
            Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
           
            Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

            Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
           
            Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
           
            War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
           
            Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
           
            Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
          
            It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
           
            Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
           
            Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.  
           
            Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
           
            Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
         
            Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
            
            Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
          
Men are like....
1. Men are like .......Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6... Men are like...... Commercials...... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like........ Department Stores..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like........ Government Bonds..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like....... Mascara...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like....... Popcorn. ......  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like.....  Snowstorms...... You never know when they're coming,
   how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like........ Lava Lamps..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like........ Parking Spots......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
"I have the right to remain silent...I just don't have the ability"- Ron White, Blue Collar Comedy Tour

"Personally, I'd like to just kill you and call it a day. But let's make it your decision shall we?"- Van Helsing

"If you’re going to kill someone, kill them. Don't stand around talking about it."- Anna, Van Helsing

"AAACHOO! Sorry...I'm allergic to bullshit"- Det. Spoon, I Robot

"General Hammond, permission to beat the crap out of this man." - Jack, Stargate SG1

"You know that 'We come in peace' business? Bite me." - Jack, Stargate SG1

'I used to have SUPER HUMAN POWERS but my therapist took them away.' -hot topic tee

'Silence is golden but duck tape is silver' - another hot topic tee

‘Boys, you can’t live with them and it's illegal to shoot them' -keychain

I'm going nucking futs!!! (me)

I swear to drunk I'm not god (me)

I’m not as think as you stoned I am (me)

Roll roll roll the joint
twist it at the end
light it up and have a puff
and pass it to your friends (Emma Lynn)

See I knew you were staring at my tits! (t shirt)

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me (t shirt)

I’m not A bitch I’m THE bitch and its Miss Bitch to you!!

Under the influence of chocolate (t shirt)

If you can read this you’re too fucking close!!! (bumper sticker)

The cheese stands alone
the cheese stands alone
hi ho the dairy oh
the cheese stands alone

Fish heads
fish heads
roly poly fish heads
fish heads
fish heads
eat them up
yum!!!!!

The cheese doodles have taken over the city (my sister)

The sporks and the shoelaces will do battle and the spoons shall inherit the earth!!! (me)

Tell me again, why do I need a boyfriend? (t shirt)


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


Just before the funeral service, the undertaker came up to the very elderly
Widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So, you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"



An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher that she had two requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her
Ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose, mind you. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.



Don't think of it as hot flushes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!


Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.


THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Men are like tiles
lay them right the first time
and walk all over them for the rest of their lives.

I’m not going insane; I got there years ago,
Actually it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. (Me)

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” -Elayne Boosler

“Fat people are hard to kidnap”

“We have seen the future and it is filled with sign like: Warning! No walking into walls. They will not move for you.”

“Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.”

“Fight Crime! Shoot Back”

“Don’t think the police help? The next time you’re in trouble, try calling a crack head.”

“Peace! Something to shoot for!”

“Establish world peace: Kill everyone!”

"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of the dreams." - Willy Wonka

"Final count, forty two."

"Forty two? Not bad for a pointy-eared elven princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on number forty three."

"Forty three."

"He was already dead."

"He was twitching."

"He was twitching because he's got my axe imbedded in his nervous system!" - Gimli and Legolas, TTT

"'The arses on the trousers aren't very tight. They're very loose and baggy and I like tight trousers. And the shoes - the shoes have got a bit of a heel, and it's a strange sensation for a man. Especially when you're running.' He mimes a mincing trot. 'I am mighty Hornblower! Watch me run like a girl!'" - Ioan Gruffud

"Strangely enough, the first time I tried to read the book I was on holiday in Florida. I dropped it in the pool my first day there. If that's not a Pippin thing to do, I don't know what is." - Billy Boyd on being asked if he could relate to Pippin.

"If I could uninvent anything, I would uninvent Hitler's mum, guns and broccoli." - Dominic Monaghan

"Legolas doesn't speak a lot - he prefers to let his actions speak for him. Legolas' moves are smooth and elegant, like a cat. You know how cats can jump and land steadily on their paws? That's what I'm trying to do. There's a strength in that, but it's very balletic. It's also bloody hard to do without falling over!" - Orlando Bloom

"Vig used to call me 'elf boy,' and I'd call him 'filthy human.' As an Elf, I never got a scratch on me, never got dirty. And Vig would come out with blood and sweat all over him. And he'd say to me, 'Oh, go manicure your nails.'" - Orlando Bloom

"We have these digs at each other. Viggo will go on about Elves and how they're always doing their nails and brushing their long, blonde hair, and being all prissy. And I just say: Well, at least I'm going to live forever! Got that? LIVE FOREVER!" - Orlando Bloom

"Elf Envy...they all had it." - Orlando Bloom

"My life at the moment is a bit like my wardrobe. Organised chaos." - David Wenham

"I like cooking, but I like other people cooking more." - David Wenham

"I was on my way out of a Sunday rehearsal. When I was walking out of the gym, all sort of sweaty, half in street clothes and half in Aragorn's clothes, waiving the sword around, trying to keep a mental picture of what we've just done. Just walking down the street, down to where my car was parked, on a Sunday afternoon, waiving the sword around, looking like some desperate Rasputin character. Cops car comes: there's been some report..." - Viggo Mortensen

"Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew." - Johnny Depp

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while there I was the prime suspect." - my friend Rebecca

You know you're a LOTR freak if:

1. When asked where you want to go on vacation, you say "A nice trip to Rivendell would be relaxing."

2. You're idea of a perfect marriage means that you marry an elf.

3. When your little brother's first word is "Ada", you get excited, because you know that's the elvish word for "father".

4. When you see a golden band around someone's finger, you wonder why they aren't invisible.

5. Your idea of "graceful" is watching Legolas prance through the woods killing orcs.

6. You write the mayor and tell him that houses built into the ground with round, wooden doors are a better way to live.

7. At a restaurant, you ask the chef if they serve Elven bread.

8. When you grow up, you want to live in New Zealand.

9. You consider anyone measuring below 5 feet to be a "half-ling".

10. When asked in class to give a synonym for "traitor", you say "Gollum!"

11. Mom hears you muttering "My Precious" in your sleep.

12. Your goal is to live to be 111.

There are three types of people you don't piss off, Custom Officials, Air Marshals, and Police Officers. Because they can say funny things like 'Cavity Search'.(used)

Republican's For Voldemort

Frodo Failed. Bush Has the Ring.

There is no quality in others that frightens you more than the shadow of what you might have been.

"Remember, women are slower to come then men."
-Jaime (Me.) (When told to walk faster.)

"It was Professor Dumbledore who felt that the fifth and sixth year students needed a class of this nature. Personally, I think it a great waste of time, and a rather scary venture. The thought of any of you actually breeding one day, brings terror to my heart."
- Professor Snape's Sex 101 by Aradia

The Death of Many is Necessary for the Lives of the Few.

I Reject Your Reality & Substitute My Own

Who Cares About Love...I'd Rather Fall In Chocolate

"I've been thinking with my guts since forever, and you know what? I've come the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains"

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." -Oscar Wilde

"Keep in mind... The object of Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body, but to rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "HOLY SH!T WHAT A RIDE!!!!""

id lose my mind if it wasn’t attached... oops there it goes...

"I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall..."

"Lobotomy’s are what made this country what it is today."

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

"What goes around comes around, so don't spit on a roller coaster!"

"I only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. And MY way. Which is really the WRONG way, only faster"

"How do you drown a fish?"

"I have not failed! I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

"I’m not suffering from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!"

"When I get the urge to exercise, I just lay down until the feeling goes away!"

"Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?"

"Never trust a dead doctor"

"If at first you don't succeed...destroy all the evidence that you tried"

"There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train. Ahhh damit it was a train! Shit! now I’m gonna really see the light!"

It's all fun and games 'till someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious.

God made me beautiful . . . What the hell happened to you!

"Are you trying to be funny or are you reta... special?"

"Of course I did my homework! I just haven't written it down yet!"

"Death is God's way of telling you that you're fired. Suicide is your way of telling God 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'"

"What do you burn apart from witches?"

"MORE WITCHES!"-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"The best kind of revenge: Kiss thy enemy on thy mouth and then drag thee into thy bedroom to screw them senseless." they never know what hit them! (ex: Draco kisses Harry, then drags his to his bedroom and screws him senseless...)

Draco:" You're dead, Potter."

Harry: raising eyebrows  "Funny, you'd think I'd have stopped walking around ... "

from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light.(used)

When you are down to nothing ... God is up to something

“Some people are like a slinky; not really good for anything but you can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.”

The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas!

“you should respect your elders,,, in the same way you respect a rattlesnake”

If you're scared half to death twice, what happens?

Death is god’s way of saying, “you’re fired”

Suicide is your way of saying, “screw this, I Quit!!!”

I Smile Because I Have No Idea Whats Going On

I try not to let my schooling interfere with my education

if at first you don't succeed, you fail

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
~George Carlin

This is Bob, the Gummy Bear;  Say "Hi Bob!"

Through me you enter into the city of woes,
Through me you enter into eternal pain,
Through me you enter the population of loss

Justice moved my high maker, in power divine,
Wisdom supreme, love primal. No things were
Before me not eternal; eternal I remain.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

-Dante's Inferno-

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

- We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.

- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

- He who laughs last thinks slowest!

- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

- Hard work has a future pay off.  Laziness pays off now.

- Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.

- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

- I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

- I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it.

- I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

- Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

- Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

- Few women admit their age.  Few men act theirs.

- I'm a confused as a baby in a topless bar.

- All generalizations are false, including this one.

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

- Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.

- 90% of all statistics are made up

- A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

- Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.

- Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

- If the shoe fits, buy it.

- It is not the fall that kills you.  It's the sudden stop at the end.

- You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

- 'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

- ... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant

- A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

- A conscience does not prevent sin.  It only prevents you from enjoying it.

- A day not wasted is a day wasted!

- A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.

- A dirty book is rarely dusty.

- A friend in need is a pest indeed...

- A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

- A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot.

- A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

- All I want is a warm bedd, a kind word and unlimited power

- All generalizations are false, including this one.

- Alone: In bad company.

- Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.

- Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.

- Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain.  And most do.

- As I said before, I never repeat myself.

- As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia

- Bigamy: one wife too many.  Monogamy: same thing.

- Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies

- Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

- Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.

- Confusion not only reigns, it pours.

- Constant change is here to stay.

- Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?' 502. Do fish get thirsty?

- Do steam rollers really roll steam?

- Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

- Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.

- Efficiency takes time!  Frugality: who can afford it?

- Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.

- Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

- Everyone is gifted.  Some open the package sooner.

- Floggings will continue until morale improves.

- Forgive your enemies... but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

- Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.

- Friendship is one soul in two bodies

- Give your child mental blocks for Christmas

- Gravity doesn't exist.  The Earth sucks.

- Grow your own dope... plant a man.

- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!

- Gun control is being able to hit your target!

- Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!

- Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

- How many of you believe in telekineses?  Raise MY hand!

- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

- I still miss my ex-wive... BUT, my aim is improving!

- I bet you I could stop gambling.

- I can resist anything but temptation.

- I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

- I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.

- I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.



- When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?


- I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

- If all is not lost, where is it?

- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

- If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

- The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

- I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

- It was all so different before everything changed.

- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

- I wish the buck stopped here.  I could use a few.

- It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

- Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.

- The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

- When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

- There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

- Being healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

- It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
-
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

One day stupid people will rule the world...Population?Me...!

Crazy beyond all reason and proud of it!

Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention

Of all the things I've lost...
I miss my mind the most

No, really! I'm sane! Well, that's what the voices tell me...

a gourmet once challenged me to eat
a little bit of killer whale meat.
don't look so horror-stricken,
he said, you'll find it tastes a lot like chicken.

it did.
no chicken i cannot eat,
because it tastes like killer whale meat.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")_(")

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique; so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you are For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, SingingCheese, storyranger, IronFist Shady Gurl, Spirit Elma

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If have ever eaten someone else's food without realizing it, copy this into your profile

If you sing songs during art class, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door copy this to your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.

M.A.T.H.S - Mentally Affected Teachers Harrasing Students

Murderer? well thats a harsh word. I prefer to think of myself as a morality technition.

God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I'll never die.

Maths Teacher: 'You have offended the maths Gods. Go pray for forgivness in the corner.'

I though you'd turned over a new leaf 'insert name' but it turns out you just chopped it up and smoked it.

if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Nerds like comics and card games. Geeks like trig and reading. If you are one or both, copy this and paste it into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

If you have no idea why you're here, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

Cross over to the dark side. (we have cookies and chocolate cake!)

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

You know you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

26 THINGS THAT A PERFECT GUY WOULD DO!

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down .
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence ...
4. Give you the remote control during the game .
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you .
6. Play with your hair .
7. His hands always find yours .
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages .
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .
11... Never run out of love.
12. Be funny , but know how to be serious .
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious .
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally
like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each
others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing , even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor ...
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason .
26. Quit smoking , chewing , drinking , or drugs - just because he
loves u that much to quit it.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have given names to the voices in your head, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you like cheese, copy and paste this into your profile(j/k)

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!!!!!!!

If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction and/or fictionpress, copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile! (Wtf?)

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most teenagers today complain about how fat they are. If you're happy with your body and don't flip out if you eat something with more than 200 calories, then post this in your profile.

If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar, copy this to your profile..

If you'd rather be an individual instead of following the crowd, copy this n2 ur profile.

If you wanna travel when u get older, copy this n2 ur profile!

If you know/live with someone who has a physical/mental disability, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you don't think it's fair that Goofy being a dog gets to do everything from have a house and play golf with Mickey, to have a job but Pluto has to live outside and drink from a bowl, copy this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmememories, Vampire Apple, Queen S of Randomness 016, Spirit Elma

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile

If you have so many of these "copy and paste this to your profile" stuff it not frickin funney...copy and paste this to your profile

O lny srmat poelpe can raed this.

cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on !!

If This Sentence Makes You Laugh Out Loud, Copy And Paste This In Your Profile: "The Worst Way T o Die Would Be To Smother In Whale Blubber."

If You Have Ever Thrown A Rock At A Wall And Had It Ricochet And Hit You In The Head, Copy And Paste This In Your Profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If when you go to sleep you can hear songs that you haven't heard in three years copy this to your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.